The first border run, I took a series of buses and other forms of public transportation to get to Burma. That wasn't actually too bad. Five hours in a bus, running through the customs booths and then hopping back on a bus wasn't bad at all and you could do things on your own time.
I later found out that a more direct way of doing a border run was to take a private van. So the second visa run comes along and I decided it might be an easier to take the van. The ticket was purchased and on the day the van picked me up where I was staying. It was lovely to not have to run to the bus station, find out if you can actually get a seat, etc. The thing about taking a van is that you will often be in very cramped quarters with 10-12 people. If you are fortunate enough you will be able to snag the front seat and sit near a semi normal driver. I was never lucky enough to be picked up first, so I usually got one of the leftover seats.
On visa run number two, the van picked me up as promised and I was happy to get a window seat. I was hoping that I was the last person to be collected before we headed for the border. Such was not to be. Oh yes and before I go on I'd like to mention that there were already some very colorful creatures in the van. There was a creepy old English dude, you know, the type of overweight male who travels to places in Asia and is really pleased with the bargains he is getting in the hooker department- the type of guy who will take off his shirt in public so that everyone else can have a more compelling view of his hairy chest and beer gut. This man behaved like he was God's gift to women.
There was also a quiet Amish girl (who was the lucky one to take the front seat). A few random guys. One man who was stoned out of his mind. He seemed to stay in that drugged out stupor the entire trip.
Okay, so those two were bad enough. But when the van went to pick up the last group we first drove to their guesthouse. They didn't seem to be there but we waited for about 20 minutes anyway just to make sure. After that we drove to the van company's office. We found them there. The wait wouldn't have bothered me so much but I was already in a shitty mood and when this final group stumbled into the van I had to fight off volcanic rage.
This last group was 4 English guys who looked about 22ish. These guys went onto my shit list right away. First off not only did they make the van late but one of them decided to plop down right next to me. I'm not so much of a witch that I don't like people sitting next to me but these guys were so hung over that not only were they very sleepy but you could actually smell sour beer reeking out of their pores. Also, apparently the "good time" they had last night started to catch up with them while in the van.
The smell was bad but then since he was so hung over he kept on falling asleep and falling on me. This obviously did not help my already foul mood. I let it slide a few times but after getting a lung-full of his most charming personal body odor I snapped.
He took the hint. He then decided to sleep on the floor of the van. It didn't help that much though because all 4 of those Brits reeked and since the van didn't let us open the windows it was like sitting in a bog the entire trip up.
Also, Mr. God's Gift decided that he was 22 again. He and the "boys" bragged about their legendary prowess among the ladies.
Oh yes and the reason those guys were late? They had trashed the room at their guesthouse and instead of paying for the damages and the bill in general, they decided they would be super "cool" and ditched the little old Thai lady who was asking them to pay for what they ruined.
Classy right?
Needless to say this was a traumatizing border run but somehow I managed to survive amidst all the sweaty grimy males and all their charming stories. And because I shoved the seatmate off of me I wound up having an entire row to myself. Victory? I'd say yes.
